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Health & Fitness

Juxtaposed News- Satirical News That’s Honest About its Lack of Accuracy

Juxtaposed news- satirical news that's honest about its lack of accuracy.

Hillsborough District shows Graduations lack sufficient facts

Tampa- Hillsborough County graduation ceremonies at the Florida State Fair Grounds took an odd turn when the Superintendent told graduating seniors that they were only worth $200,000. Fresh from a briefing on the Herrera Federal Lawsuit the Superintendent grabbed the wrong set of notes and, through thick coke bottle glasses, began what can only be described as a MaGoovian reality check telling the assembled graduates that they do not belong in federal court and their graduations should be conferred in state court where they would be limited to only $200,000 under sovereign immunity.

Eerily reminiscent of David McCullough Jr.’s “You are Not Special” commencement address in 2012, the Superintendent noted that the graduates, like their identical “one size fits all” cap and gowns, were each worth exactly the same in the eyes of the state- $200,000- and how inconsequential this is relative to the district’s $2.7 billion bloated administrative decision making process.

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There were mixed reactions from the graduates. Some found it sobering while others were delighted to hear that they were worth the $200,000 and wondered how they could access those funds as soon as possible.

One graduate wondered why the School District never bothered to teach her this fundamental concept during 12 years of school as it might have inspired her to take action to change the system.

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Moments later Principal Bradley Woods cut off the Salutatorian halfway through his speech and had him escorted out by two Hillsborough County sheriff's deputies. The principal claimed that he diverted from the district pre-approved speech. Congratulations graduates- the School Board that educated you does not trust you to speak or think for yourselves. 

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